New Poem: Leap Day, 2012

I have no idea what sparked this poem, but I thought I'd share it with my blog readers before I decide I hate it and wipe it out of existence completely.  Also, I apologize for my lack of posts recently.  The long Memorial Day weekend, coupled with a lack of motivation/inspiration is entirely to blame.  Hopefully I snap out of it soon.

Leap Day, 2012

At an internet café in New York City,

Insomnia has sunk its teeth into the big apple.

Under a domestic paw a mouse wriggles,

Attempting to break free and scurry back

To his home, alone, inside the walls.

Computer screens, like cat eyes, peer from

The darkest corner into the sleeping world.

A symphony of sirens pulsates through

The bleeding night; the long cry of a dying animal

Comes limping and twitches on the ear

In numerous glowing nocturnes.

A middle-aged man chasing down blocks of text

On an online dating site, reads,

‘Five foot five, well-educated, with a love of dogs’

And slumps back into his ergonomic chair

On this, the last leg of his only life.

New Poem: Reduced to Ash

I got the idea for this poem last week and started writing it at work today.  It was inspired by my mother.  She would often fall asleep with a cigarette in her hand and my dad would yell that she was going to burn the house down.  She never did.

Reduced to Ash

Slowly reducing to ash, she often held

A cigarette with the slightest tension,

The way a life is held, an extension

Of herself, a sixth finger that expelled

An endless run of smoke into the evening

Air.  Drifting off to sleep, her heavy hand

Would scorch the carpet’s tone of lightly tanned

Skin and leave smoldering holes, the yawning

Blackness before a dream in which desire

Manifests.  Her vision, a glowing coil

On which she’d rest her hand without recoil,

Would end when tracing smoke back to the fire,

She’d wake to the hiss of the hot stove still fresh

In her ears, and the smell of burning flesh.

Kickin' it Old School

Last night I decided to compile a playlist of my favorite songs from the 80's, 90's, and early 00's.  Not sure what possessed me to do this, maybe I'm just missing my youth.  These songs bring back so many fond memories.  One in particular comes to mind.  The year was 1994 (or 95, not really sure).  I was in group therapy with my sisters and a bunch of other "troublesome youth".  Side-note, as children, my sisters and I had an issue with profanity.  When the group leaders took everyone outside for group activities I stayed behind and went rooting through another kid's book bag (apparently I also had an issue with others personal property).  I'm not sure what I was expecting to find or why I was doing it, but I did it nonetheless.  What I found was a cassette player with an unmarked cassette in it.  I threw the headphones on, hit play and heard Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit for the first time.  And thus began my love affair with music.

Anyway, here is my playlist so far.  If you think of any good songs to add feel free to leave a comment!

Barenaked Ladies - One Week
Cake - Love You Madly
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - Bad Reputation
Radiohead - Creep
Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Hole - Doll Parts
Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun
Built to Spill - Else
Coldplay - Yellow
Neutral Milk Hotel - Ghost
Blink 182 - The Rock Show
The Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated
Beck - Loser
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
Blind Mellon - No Rain
Blur - Song 2
Queen - Under Pressure
Beastie Boys - No Sleep Till Brooklyn

On Tap: Bananarama

Welcome to another edition of On Tap!  Today, I thought I'd start out by sharing some famous quotes about that magical elixir we all love, beer.

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
-Dave Barry

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

-Benjamin Franklin

"We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old."
-Martin Luther

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
-Dean Martin

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
-Frank Sinatra

Okay, okay enough of that, on to this week's winners and losers.  The first loser of the week was Southern Tier Brewing Company's Pale Wheat Ale.  It's not that this beer was all that bad, it just wasn't all that good either. Their website says it has hints of citrus and a "grassy" flavor.  I couldn't really find the citrus, but I definitely tasted the grassy flavor; it had a slight bitterness that I didn't care for.

The next beer of the week was Unibroue's Blanche de Chambly.  I had been trying for weeks to get my hands on this beer and last week I finally did.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to declare this beer a winner yet, but it definitely grew on me with every sip.  I would describe it as the champagne of beers.  It was extremely bubbly and tasted very much like champagne, though at only 5% ABV, this one won't have you making stupid decisions quite so quickly.

The final beer of the week, and the only clear winner, was Wells Banana Bread Beer.  When I read the label I knew I had to try it, it just sounded so interesting!  Let me preface my opinion by saying that I don't ordinarily care for banana flavored things, I feel they can be a bit sickening.  That was not the case with this beer.  It tasted like a slightly under-ripe banana.  It was clean and crisp and not at all heavy (if that makes any sense).  This is definitely one I'd have again, if I can find it.

Well, that's all for this week.  Stay thirsty my friends!

New Poem: At the Grave of a Loved One

Of the traditional forms, my favorite has got to be sonnets.  There is just something about them that I find captivating and inherently beautiful.  I had the idea for this poem yesterday evening and wrote it during the course of the day today.  It was inspired by the photograph below, which I took some weeks back. 

At the Grave of a Loved One

Six feet above you looking down, I came

Upon fake flowers from a nearby grave,

And being all alone and desperate gave

Them a home in the ground before your name.

The plastic petals, always in their prime,

Won’t attract the florists rumored to prospect

The graveyard at night in order to collect

The cheap inventory of a lifetime.

Neither birds nor bees will frequent these flowers

That bear not the sustenance of seeds or

Nectar, sweet and glistening at their core¹.

They yield a tasteless tea if steeped for hours.

Indeed, those that do not wilt in the sun,

These flowers, are worthless to everyone.

¹Reference to a poem by May Swenson called, Four-Word Lines.

New Poem: Snows of Kilimanjaro

Work is pretty slow right now which is great because it allows me a lot of free time to do some writing.  I wrote this poem over the course of the day.  It was inspired by a number of things.  The title is the same as a short story by Ernest Hemingway.  I've also read a number of articles on and seen pictures of the disappearing ice caps of Mt. Kilimanjaro.  It's definitely a place I would like to see someday.  For now, however, I'll settle for the pictures and stories of others.  Enjoy!

Snows of Kilimanjaro

Half asleep in the small town of Moshi
At the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro.
My head, once dormant, shifts like a glacier
Into the valley between two pillows.
I lie within the either/or, a
Pale tourist on vacation passing
Through the local shops of
Strangely familiar faces, the
Vague recounts and recollections that
Exist between two nonexistent dreams.
Down the streets of my hometown,
The natives’ stoic, disembodied
Faces come creeping out
Of their tiny huts that populate
The foot of caravan hill,
Come creeping out and dot
The landscape of my inner thoughts.
I don’t understand how they can live
Under constant threat of being buried
Beneath a wall of liquid rock.
I myself will be miles away when it erupts
Again, two thousand years from now,
As if shivered awake from a dream,
Ash pouring from the sky like snow,
Anointing the godless land,
Cinders kissing with a hissful whisper
The cold ruins of dead memories.

Perfection

For those of you who don't know, I am sort of a perfectionist.  It can be both a good and bad thing.  On the one hand, it's good to strive for perfection.  Nobody is perfect, especially on their first attempt.  Honing your skills will ultimately lead to improved results, no matter what the craft. On the other hand, being in a state of constant dissatisfaction with yourself is extremely stressful and can sometimes lead to depression.

My perfectionism is especially bad when it comes to my writing.  I want so desperately to be a great writer, for my words to evoke the kinds of beautiful daydreams I often have when reading the work of others.  Sometimes I'll get so worked up over my writing I'll bite my nails down to nothing and end up with a migraine.  To make matters worse, I can be a fairly impatient person who is easily discouraged.  This can lead to the mentality, "I need perfection and I need it NOW!"  What I need is to learn to take a breath and relax, realize that good writing takes time, and try to be confident that, eventually, the words will come.

On a related note, I have revised my poem, Wind-up Toys, for the third time now.  The third revision is not nearly as significant an overhaul as the second.  Basically, I just rearranged the second stanza a bit in an effort to make it "flow" better.  Check it out and let me know what you think.  Hopefully I haven't butchered it completely.

On Tap: ABC

Hello all you bloggers and blogettes!  Welcome to another addition of On Tap.  Rather than beat around the bush, lets get right to this weeks brews.  I am sorry to report that this past week was not a very good one for beer.  Not only was I fairly lax in my sampling of new brews, but the ones I did try were't very good to boot.

This past week I was out to dinner at the Appalachian Brewing Company in Harrisburg and was excited to try one of their flagship beers.  I've had their Water Gap Wheat before, which isn't bad, and this time I decided to try their Purist Pale Ale.  I won't mince words, it wasn't good.  The beer had a strong metallic taste that absolutely ruined it.  It was like drinking a jar of pennies.  The only consolation I had was my Fire Jumper Burger, which was delicious (I am quickly becoming a fan of jalapeno peppers).

The second beer of the week was sampled while at one of my favorite places in the world, El Rodeo.  The beer I'm referring to is a Mexican beer called Tecate.  While this beer wasn't nearly as bad as the one from ABC, it  just left me wanting more (and not in a good way).  Overall the beer was fairly bland, it tasted like the Mexican version of Budweiser.  Luckily, food came to the rescue once again as I drowned my sorrows in a plate of Nacho Supremos.

Well, that's all for this week.  Hopefully I'll have better brew news to report next week!

New Poem: Wind-up Toys

Today is the deadline for submissions for the Stanley Kunitz Memorial Prize competition.  The prize was established in honor of the late Stanley Kunitz, who was a celebrated poet and mentor to many young writers.  The competition is open to all poets under the age of 40.  All entries must be previously unpublished poems.   The entry fee is only $15 and it allows for the submission of up to three poems, totaling no more than three pages in length.  As part of my getting serious initiative, I submitted the following three poems, Missed Calls, Ants, and A Dog’s Life.  Contest results will be announced by July 1, 2012 and, while I don’t hold out any hope of winning, it is nice to think that my work is being read by magazine editors.  These are the types of people who can help me get my stuff included in professional, well-respected publications.  Competitions like this can serve as valuable stepping-stones toward my goal, which is to one day, have a book of my poetry published.  In honor of today, I decided to do some writing over my lunch break.  Below is what I came up with.  I may add to it, but for now, this is all I got.  Enjoy!

Wind-up Toys

You do not have to stop and think to breathe;

At the bottom of a cereal box,

Wrapped in plastic, is this thought as routine

As going to work or school, and simple

As swallowing a gasp of air in the lungs.

Your old brain like a wind-up toy of tin and

Rubber springs into action, running signals

Across the kitchen table of your mind.

In your side, a key, turned by the rise and

Fall of days like miles vanishing beneath

The odometer horizon, sent youth

At a furious pace in all directions,

Almost completely unaware of itself.

Once driven by potential energy, life

Exhausted now will seek soon the smallest breath,

Skitter slow, conscious, but still involuntary.

On Tap: Magic Hat

Ever thought about brewing your own beer?  Being a fairly picky beer drinker, I know it's something that has crossed my mind from time to time.  I'll think to myself, "If I learn how to brew beer, then I can brew beer that I know I'll enjoy.  I can also experiment and create my own signature beer!  It would be my own little creation!"  As exciting as all this sounds, I have yet to purchase a brewing kit or even get very far in my search. You see, I can be a bit lazy and easily discouraged, and well, this beer making business sounds tough.  I'm not sure if I'll ever actually go through with it and purchase a kit, but for those of you who are interested, this kit seemed like a good one from what I could tell.  Anyway, just thought I 'd share that, now on to this week's brews!

Although I didn't sample many new brews this past week, it was nonetheless a very good week, beer-wise.  The two new beers I had, I enjoyed immensely.  The first beer I sampled was Wolaver's Wildflower Wheat Ale.  The beer boasts that it is brewed with organic Vermont honey and it shows.  Wildflower Wheat has a good, clean malt flavor with just a slight bite to it.  Overall, a very good beer that I would definitely get again.

I did, however, save the best for last this week.  This week's best brew, the A-1 ale, the king cold one, the super cerveza, the leading libation, the prince of puke fuel is... Magic Hat Circus Boy.  Magic Hat is quickly becoming one of my favorite brewers.  I've honestly enjoyed every one of their beers, and that's saying something.  Circus Boy is, in a word: amazeballs.  It has a rich wheat beer flavor, no bite, and a slight citrusy aftertaste due to the fact that it is brewed with lemongrass.  This beer was very refreshing and perfect for an afternoon spent lounging around outside.

Well, that's it for this week.  It's Friday and this weekend is shaping up to be absolutely gorgeous.  Can't wait to get out and enjoy myself.  Hopefully I'll have some new brews to share with you next week!

Trailers: Moonrise Kingdom

Welcome to the first of a new segment I’m calling, Trailers, in which I’ll discuss some of my most highly anticipated movie releases.  Despite the expensive food and the crowds, I’ve always loved going to the movies, especially during the summertime.  Nothing beats an air-conditioned movie theater on a hot summer day.

Moonrise Kingdom – May 25, 2012: Ever since I saw the trailer for this I have been counting the days.  It is directed by Wes Anderson, who also directed one of my favorite movies of all time, The Royal Tenenbaums.  Although the storylines are unique, a lot of his movies tend to have the same feel to them, which can be an acquired taste.  Set on an island off the coast of New England in the 1960s, the movie centers around a young boy and girl who fall in love and are moved to run away together.  Various factions of the town mobilize to search for them and the town is turned upside down.  The movie boasts an all-star cast including Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, and Jason Schwartzman to name a few.

On the Road – May 25, 2012 (tentative): This film is set to debut at the Cannes Film Festival and is based on the novel of the same title by Jack Kerouac.  Having read and enjoyed the book, I was instantly drawn to this movie.  The film follows an aspiring writer and his friends on a fast-paced, cross-country adventure, something I have the secret desire to do myself.  As is the case with most book-to-movie adaptations, my only concern is how they are going to fit it all into one movie.

The Dark Knight Rises – July 20, 2012:  I have a bit of a soft spot in my heart for superhero flicks.  I guess I’m a bit of a dork in that way.  I loved the first two movies in this series (Heath Ledger’s final performance as the Joker was Oscar-worthy) and the third installment looks like the epic conclusion I was hoping for.  The film is set eight years after the Dark Knight Returns.  A new terrorist leader, Bane, has overwhelmed Gotham’s men-in-blue, and the Dark Knight resurfaces to protect a city that has branded him an enemy.

New Poem: A Dog's Life

I wrote this the other day while thinking about my dog Bleeker.  He has quite the life.


A Dog’s Life

Beneath my kitchen table a dog comes
with a wet, black nose, his only tool,
grinding across the stone-tile floor.
And gathering up some dirt on the tip, he pulls
his tongue across to savor a bit of human food.
Soothed by the slightest taste of my dinner
he fixes himself beside the table legs
and falls uncomplaining into dreams. Seeing
this, I track an idea back through my head
like a faint smell; a dog’s life is not so mangy
a way to live for one whose resolve is
sharpened on the scent of things
and sustained by crumbs.

Drinko de Mayo

I have been quite the slacker lately.  In my defense, last week was a blur and I can hardly remember where it all went.  But went it did, and along came the weekend.  I kicked off my weekend around noon on Friday with a Cinco de Mayo party at work, complete with tacos, enchiladas, and delicious chips and salsa.  It was only suppose to be a luncheon, but the rest of my coworkers and I decided to extend the party until the end of the day.

Saturday was filled with even more fun as I slept in super late and lounged around the apartment with Nikki watching old episodes of The X-Files.  After dinner, we went out for margaritas at El Rodeo.  I tried a lime margarita and Nikki got the strawberry.  After just one of these puppies I was buzzed and feeling pretty good.  Tequila and I have a love/hate relationship, but as long as I don't overdo it I am usually okay.

While we waited for our drinks we feasted on more chips and salsa (side-note: I could drink El Rodeo's salsa, it is so good), followed by my first Mexican dessert: xango.  It's essentially fried cheesecake and for a fat kid like me it hit the spot.  Afterward we decided to take in a nightcap at a bar in Mechanicsburg called The Gingerbread Man.  There's kind of a neat two-level bar inside, but beyond that it wasn't much to look at.  Also, smoking is allowed so needless to say, we didn't stay long.

Well folks, that was my Drinko de Mayo.  It definitely had its moments.  Hope yours was just as much fun!

Photo Apps

When I first got a smartphone one of the things I was most looking forward to was downloading and playing with camera apps.  I’ve always enjoyed looking at artsy photography and felt it could be something I could get into.  One of the first apps I downloaded was Vignette.  The reviews seemed mostly positive and it had a free demo version (the full version is $3.99).  Ever since that day this little app has helped me explore my creativity and provided me with countless hours of fun.

The app has gobs of photo effects (76 to be exact) and frames (57) to customize and create one-of-a-kind photos.  The only drawback of the demo version is that once a photo is saved it can no longer be altered.  So once you’ve applied an effect and saved the photo, you can’t go back later and try different effects.  This, however, is remedied in the full version (I think).  Regardless of this little snafu, the Vignette app has been far and away my favorite camera app to date.

In contrast to the Vignette app is the widely popular Instagram app that was just recently made available to the Android market.  I was very excited and downloaded it immediately.  However, I quickly discovered that Instagram doesn’t hold a candle to Vignette.  The main draw of Instagram is that it provides a social network in which to share your photos and view those of others.  Beyond that, the app is fairly sparse with what it can do; it only has a fraction of the effects of Vignette.   Instagram’s user interface is slightly better, but not enough to make up for the reduced functionality.

In short, if you’re looking for a camera app to capture your life in photographs, Vignette is the way to go.  Check out some of my photos on the right-hand side of the blog or on my Facebook page and let me know what you think!

Dazed and Confused

So I didn’t really have a topic for today’s blog planned; I’ve been really lazy lately and this is just another example.  Anyway, I found these questions on a blog that promises “practical tips for productive living.”  The questions are designed to provoke thought and they sounded fairly interesting so here we go:

1.       What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you aren’t dying?  I wake up every morning aware that I am dying.  I think about death a lot, probably more than I should.  It is my number one fear.

2.      Do you believe in the death penalty?  Absolutely not.  The legal system is not fool proof and the thought of condemning an innocent man to die is sickening.

3.      If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  That person would be my best friend forever!  Finally, someone who understands me J.

4.      Would you rather be rich and paralyzed from the waist down or poor and able bodied?  Hmm, maybe I could use my riches to discover a cure for my paralysis.  Nah, I was poor and able bodied for the first 23 or so years of my life and I’ve kind of gotten use to it.

5.       What’s the most expensive gift you have ever received?  Is it the best gift you have ever received?  Hmm, to make this easier on myself I’m going to go with the most expensive Christmas/birthday gift, which if I’m not mistaken was my Philadelphia Flyers jersey given to me by my little sister.  I don’t know if I would call it the best gift I’ve ever received but it’s certainly up there.

6.      When was the last time you lied?  Is it possible to lie without saying anything at all?  The last time I lied was today.  I fudged the time it took me to get to and from my client meeting so I could have an extra long lunch, which is a perfect example of lying without saying anything at all.

7.       Stealing is immoral, right?  But what if stealing was the only way to feed a starving child?  Stealing is immoral…unless you’re talking about my justice khakis.

8.      If I gave you $20, what percentage would you – really – save?  If I gave you $200,000, what percentage would you save?  Should there be a difference?  I would blow the $20 on food or new clothes or books.  I would save most of the $200,000, maybe use a small amount for a kickass vacation.

9.      If someone could tell you the exact day and time that you are going to die, would you want them to tell you?  No, I prefer to be blissfully ignorant.

10.   If you found out you were going to die today, would you have any regrets?  Would you be happy with the way you spent the last 24 hours of your life?  I would have a ton of regrets; places I’d never been, food I’d never tasted, things that went unsaid to people who mean more to me than I could ever explain or admit.  The last 24 hours of my life were wasted at work and sitting home alone.

11.    What’s your single greatest moment of personal failure?  Looking back on it now, did it make you weaker or stronger?  What did you learn?  This is a little personal.  Suffice it to say that it involves a fairly big lie(s) to someone very important.

12.   Do the words ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ mean not being persecuted or discriminated against, or do they mean doing whatever you please?  To me they mean having the ability to do what you want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others or hinder their ability to do what they want.

13.   Have you ever discriminated against someone?  I’m sure I have.  As a child I thought black people were made out of chocolate.

14.   Is it crazier to choose to be poor or to spend 40 years of your life hating 40 hours a week?  It is crazier to be poor.  I grew up watching my dad work 2 full-time jobs just to scrape by and be miserable.  At least if you’re making good money working a 40-hour-a-week job you have the funds to do some fun stuff.

15.    Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough time?  How many hours a week do you spend watching TV, or playing video games, or…?  I constantly feel like I don’t have enough time, especially during the weekends.  Haha, I wonder what the “or…” is referring to.  I’m not going to tell you how often I do “that”. 

16.   Do you ever celebrate the green lights?  Yes, by stepping on the gas!

17.    If you could be given another talent or ability, what would you want it to be?  Have you ever – really – tried to perfect this ability in yourself?  I’ve always wanted to be able to play the guitar.  I got one, along with a Dummies Guide for Christmas.  It is not going well.  If I’m not immediately good at something I tend to give up.

18.   No matter how bad things get, are you aware that someone always has it worse than you do?  Yes, but when things get bad I get selfish and tend to focus on me, which I realize sounds terrible, but hey, I’m only human.

19.   When you help someone, do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”  Not consciously, but I’m aware that when I help people it causes them to perceive me in a positive light, which is important to me.  I want people to like me.

20.  Joy is found with simple awareness.  What does your joy look like today?  Today my joy looks like Scramble with Friends!

21.   What’s the difference between ‘living’ and ‘existing?’  Everyone exists, not everyone lives.

22.  Are you willing to sacrifice the life of your child or lover to support a war?  No. 

23.  Do you ask enough questions, or do you settle for what you know?  I like to think that I’m a fairly inquisitive person.

24.  If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?  I would change quite a few things. 

25.   If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?  It would be called Dazed and Confused and since a novel is fiction, it would end with me making out with Natalie Portman in the rain.

HIMYM

As with most things, when it comes to television, I can be kind of picky with what I watch.  I can't just watch garbage TV to pass the time; I hate reality television, all singing competitions, and most crime dramas.  When I find a show I really like, I savor every last bit of it.  I watch every new episode religiously, I watch and re-watch old episodes when I'm feeling bored or sad or sick, and I quote the characters nonstop.  It's a disease really, and I have no interest in a cure.

Today, while goofing around on the internet, I stumbled across Entertainment Weekly's Death Watch, which lists the major network's shows and which ones appear destined to be cancelled.  While looking over the list I noticed that one of my favorite new shows, Whitney, is suffering from lackluster ratings and is in danger of being discontinued.  As sad as this made me, it got me thinking about some of the other shows I enjoy.  For the last seven years one of my favorite shows has been CBS' How I Met Your Mother.

If you've never seen it then I don't know what you've been doing with your life.  I love the show for so many reasons.  It is filled with great one-liners, memorable nicknames (Swarley, Big Fudge, Teddy Westside, etc.), hilarious actors, and good music.  It can do it all; it can make me laugh, cry, you name it.  If it is an emotion, I've probably felt it while watching this show.  I don't know if the EW article is necessarily to blame or the recent episodes, but it is just now hitting me that it's all coming to an end, that in just a short time the story that I have enjoyed for so long (since my college days!) will be over.  I know that nothing will stop me from feeling sad that it's over, I just hope that when it does end I am left feeling satisfied.